Sunday, September 27, 2009

Happy Birthday to Me!

Today is my 45th birthday. I can't believe I am getting so old, at least until I remember all of the aches and pains I am feeling.

My eyesight has gone down hill. I didn't think that happened until at least 50. To read things up close, I have to take off my glass. That is SO annoying.

When I get up in the morning, I can feel my joints creak and pop - yikes, I'm not 80!

I've noticed that I don't hear as well anymore. I've noticed that I often have to ask the children, "What did you say? I can't hear you." That drives me nuts, too.

Pugsly, our miniature schnauzer is going to be 13 on January 2. He is in the same boat as me. Bad eyesight, hearing, and joints. We are growing old together, although I don't know how much longer he will be around. Hopefully I will be here for many years to come!

Wednesday, September 9, 2009

Depression 09-09-09

My favorite number is 9. I've loved that number ever since I read "The Mystery of the 99 Steps" Nancy Drew book. I have looked forward to today for quite some time.

At 09:09:09 am, I posted to my Facebook and Twitter accounts. That was pretty cool, because those posts are now documented for posterity.

Then the day became pretty anti-climactic. I guess I felt let down that I didn't have anything "really important" to do today. By the end of the evening I felt pretty darn depressed. I knew why I felt that way, so I wasn't worried. I just had to mourn a small sense of loss.

I am sure tomorrow will be much better!

PS - Notice the post time!

Saturday, September 5, 2009

Fear of Past and Future

I've heard that "depression is fear of the past and anxiety is fear of the future." I pondered this for quite awhile and went through the events in my life where I could recall the situation I was in when my symptoms started up.

I found that the saying is exactly true! When I felt depressed, what ever I was thinking about had to do with something I had done, or that someone else had done. I felt depressed when I felt like a failure - something I didn't do well enough in the past. The times I felt anxiety were when I was thinking about something I had to do, like speak in public or testify in a court trial.

The first step in being about to overcome depression and anxiety is to learn to recognize what is immediately causing it to appear. After that, you can learn to deal with it!

Tuesday, September 1, 2009

Welcome to My Panic Anxiety and Depression Blog

I have gone through many trying things in my life. I have been depressed since about the age of nine, but I didn't discover this until I was thirty years old. Somewhere in there, the anxiety and panic attacks set in. At first, I didn't realize what they were and I thought I was just going crazy. I did some research and determined what my problem was. Now, I am not one to take medication of any kind, including Tylenol and Ibruprofen, so I immediately tried to find herbal supplements that would work in place of medicine. I will be writing about my experiences along the way and about how I am doing now.

Come along for the ride--I hope you find some meaningful information to help you!